Are We Settling When We Settle Down?

When we get married and say "it's time to settle down" are we really saying "I am settling?"

Talking with BlueRoses today about a good friend of mine she is dating. It is a long distance relationship and a new one at that but he already wants to get serious and she isn't so sure. BlueRoses realizes he is a good guy, but questions if he is the right guy.  And that is the question, he's good, but is he the best one for her?

This is what all women ask ourselves when we are dating someone we really like and think is a potentially good choice.  He's good, but is he that good?  Do we want to commit to him for the rest of our life?  Or as most marriages go, commit for about 5-7 years?  Still, 5-7 years is a long time. Longer than many prison terms and probably just as bad or worse ;-)

The concept of marriage has yet to be appealing to me. Seems like a lot of hassle and work just to be able to throw a party and wear a white dress. I can do that without settling and latching myself to some male ball and chain. No pun intended.  But even I have occasionally thought, "do you choose the one you can trust, even though you know you're settling"? I have male trust issues (who doesn't?).  My own Uncle once told me you can tell a man is lying if he's talking.

I do acknowledge that many people are perfectly happy, content and married.  Perhaps they do feel this is what life is about.  I know a few people that fit in this category, most of them married young and are still going strong. I am crossing my fingers that they will lead a long and reasonably happy married life.  But, for the majority of people and marriages, people are driven to settle down for various reasons such as:

• Co-dependent
• Desire to procreate and have someone take care of them when they are old
• Family pressure
• Religious pressure
• Cultural pressure
• Afraid to die alone

Why is there so much pressure to settle and settle down? 

Joke - Half of all marriages end in divorce and the other half end in death. One way or another, marriage does not end pleasantly.

I do think many, many people settle when choosing to settle down. They pick a mate for various reasons or characteristics while still thinking in the back of their head there are better choices out there but it's just too much of a headache to keep trying to find them.

This is just a musing of mine.